Another Aspect of the Culture War

It is 8:00pm Sunday night, my two children have been in bed for ten minutes and I am getting ready to turn in too. My euphoria about being on schedule tonight was soon eclipsed by someone knocking on our front door. Then they rang the door bell. Both children, were startled by the knocking and were on their way out of bed to find me. By the time the door bell rang, all my efforts to calm them down again were vanquished.

At this hour, it should be someone pretty close to us at the door. Peering out of the living room window, I saw a woman at the door. She was Hispanic and I did not know her. She was talking and gesturing to someone else in the direction of the street. Through the glass, I asked her what she wanted. Soon, she was joined by a toddler, a little girl. She would not reply in English, but in Spanish. She was holding up the lunch sack draped over her shoulder. She's selling tamales.

I like tamales, but I was annoyed. One, she woke up my household. Two, she's trying to get the kids, attention, and I'm trying to get them back to bed. Three, she would not respond in English. There are two cultures clashing here.

American life is enriched by our welcome of people originating from different cultures. Most western nations are in fact immigrant nations. We are not THE immigrant nation. But if we don't insist on living together under one culture—not two or three—we invite an ancient problem. One we should be wise enough by now to avoid. I don't care what anybody says, it's never going to be okay for a stranger to wake up my family at night to sell us something. Neither will I ever care for six foot tall speakers in a nearby front yard blaring Mariachi (or any other) music at 10 o'clock pm to kick off a barbeque. This is a culture issue.

Culture clashes occur because they threaten the routines of family life and business life, etc. Expect deep-seated reactions when you disrupt family routines or the way people do business. If America is not a land of one culture, all our "open-mindedness" will be lost in the ensuing war. Most Americans boast "open-mindedness" but only their brand of open-mindedness. Let a family move next door that threatens their way of life, and you will soon find out what their brand is about. Open-mindedness does not mean you acquiesce to the disruption of routines that sustain your life. That's insane.

My parents experienced housing discrimination before the laws were changed. The predominantly Jewish subdivision was set up for the Montgomery County Maryland Jewish, and they did not want new people upsetting their way of life. We were not a threat to their way life because we subscribed to the same values they did, but ultimately, my folks signed a contract agreeing to conform to certain community rules as a condition of the sale of the home. And you know why they signed it! They wanted the same protections for themselves.

It makes sense to protect when we can put our children to bed and how much sleep you can get at night. It does not make sense to dislike someone because of the color of their skin. It doesn't take a high IQ to tell the difference either. One is a culture issue and the other is racism. The former is defensible and the latter is not. And may good people defend the defensible. It is illogical to think that a preference which keeps up the neighbors at night is going to co-exist peacefully in a culture weaned on "Early to Bed Early to Rise, Makes a Man Healthy Wealthy and Wise." Indeed, American culture defines certain routines for family life, and I defend this one without apology.

Evil practices notwithstanding, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. That's good wisdom for multi-ethnic living.

The Context of A Child's Education

I have a personal desire to see both children and adults gain a basic understanding of history, arts, and architecture. Perhaps the world will seem more valuable to them with such knowledge under their belts. In grade school, my brother was required to learn Latin. He subsequently learned German too. Just one generation ago, our education system was still ripe with context, ripe with an appreciation of culture, so that intuitively, a child understood the application of his technical skills. The beauty in teaching a child about life and culture in concert with technical skills is that such context lends purposefulness to everything he learns.

It does not seem to be that way anymore. Nationwide, our educational requirements have been reduced to rudimentary tasks. If you don't know why you are learning anything, it really won't matter much to you. That is a huge problem. For a child to cultivate vision for his own life is rarer in the absence of cultural context. I am a strong proponent for homeschooling for this reason. Good parents can do miles more providing their child's education today, than most any institution.

I have a BS in Civil Engineering and a Masters of Architecture. I spent four years at MIT in Cambridge to earn my M.Arch. When I was in school, I observed that the students who had architects in their family were more thorough in their design projects. This is a good example of context in education. In architecture, for example, apprenticing with someone like a grandfather early in the game, frees up your ability to be creative and execute your own designs. You learn technical skills with specific insight into how they are useful. It's exciting. The student goes into an institutional setting all the more ready.

But that isn't all there is to career readiness. Parents must get into the habit of steering their students to learn the business of their respective crafts, not just the craft itself. Believe me, it doesn't matter how much tuition you pay. Schools don't do this for you, despite being such an important aspect of education. Parents, make it a part of growing up. This is how leaders are made. We want our children to be ready to start their own companies. They should be ready to be the employer if they are so inclined--not only the employee.

Personality and Following Your Dreams

Dear Marge:

...You remember how I felt when you took this position. Two years tops. I said that because an extended stay in an entry level position means that your pay relatively decreases over the years, and too often also, so does your satisfaction with the position. Periodic change, is how you grow. Be true to these life realities, and you will be happy.

As you say, you will probably always be kinda slow to act--that's a part of your personality. But slowness does not preclude success or the exercise of your wisdom. Just do what you have to do when you have to do it.

Let me offer you something else. You may not realize this right now, but presently [as a single adult] you are in the most flexible and exploitable stage of life that you will ever know. I want for you that you flex your creativity and exploit your uniqueness. You were excited about a particular industry when you started this job. I think it's time to follow that dream.

Because you are having a not-so-easy time switching jobs after interviewing over the years, consider that you might be looking in the wrong places. When you get excited about something, you inspire people. Dust off your dreams, get excited and do nothing except what moves you in that direction. Don't buy real estate, don't look for a man, don't look for another boring job. Don't' sign up for another event or buy any more clothes that advance the same old holding pattern. Move in the direction that excites you. ...NOW.

It is important to see the value in this concept. Sometimes, people get attached to routines and mislabel the routine as God's peace. Instead, there is a fire inside you, that yearns to have its way. Your fire is what makes you the unique pleasure to God that you are. However, some discredit really seeing and knowing oneself this way. Perhaps they think that only a few get to experience a life of excitement and passion and purposefulness. May we know the BIG happy God in heaven, and get a true glimpse of what we should be like.

Only one more something else. More than anyone, we should know that the life of a man passes quickly. We are but a breath, it says in Isaiah. Despite this, we allow an experience of life wrought with insignificant activity. Instead of making joyful noises to the Lord, we credit more the noises we render as sacrifices than the noises we make while we are happy. On this day, September 21, 2006, you should commence your plodding to the place in life you were created to occupy. Go as slow as you want, but do nothing else!